Positive Duck Rolls Into the Bay: How a Cowboy Hatted, Shades Rocking Pharmacy Dropout Became Janet’s New Bestie and the Official Vibe Officer at Joe’s Drive Thru Smog Check®

Joe
Jul 28
5 min read

Hey North Hollywood, Burbank, Studio City, Valley Village, and every driver who’s ever sat in traffic on the 101 wondering if life has a point… meet the new Cowboy Hatted, Shades Rocking Pharmacy Dropout who became Janet’s New Bestie and the Official Vibe Officer at Joe’s Drive Thru Smog Check®

It’s Joe here from Joe’s Drive Thru Smog Check® Star Station at 10909 Burbank Blvd, North Hollywood, CA 91601, you know the one. I’ve seen a lot of weirdness roll through this bay over the years. Giant Brooklyn rats named Rocco fixing Civic wiring on my birthday. Pens going on full blown union strikes. My leafy legends staging art heists and air purifying revolutions. Even a wandering yellow rubber ducky that still plays hide and seek across the pots like it’s training for the Olympics.

But nothing and I mean *nothing* prepared me for the morning Positive Duck showed up.

I walked into the bay, coffee in one hand, 3M PAPR in the other, and there she was. Standing proud in Janet Craigson’s pot like she owned the place. Tiny yellow crocheted body. Serious cowboy hat tilted just so. Black round shades that said “I’ve seen things.” Orange feet planted firmly in the soil. And clutched in her little wings? A white sign that read:

but I believe in you!

Go do your thing!

You’re Ducking Awesome!

**Positive Duck**

*I may be a tiny duck,

but I believe in you!

Go do your thing!

You’re Ducking Awesome!*

Janet (our quiet, no nonsense Silent Smog Slayer with the elegant glossy leaves) was looking down at her new roommate with what I can only describe as plant approval. The rest of the posse Wendy Compacta, Ari Palm, Freddie Figg, Fog Fiddlin’ Frank, Tailpipe Tango Tina, Puff Purifier Pam, and Smog Whacker Wally were all leaning in like they were watching the season finale of their favorite telenovela.

I pointed. “Janet… who’s the new hire?”

Janet rustled her leaves in that calm, “I got this” way of hers. The duck looked up, adjusted her shades with one wing, and in the calmest, most motivational little voice said:

“Name’s Positive Duck. Fourth year Pharmacy student. Former APPE rotation survivor. Current professional vibe distributor. Pleasure to meet you, Joe. You’re ducking awesome, by the way.”

I nearly dropped my coffee.

The Origin Story (As Told by a Duck in a Cowboy Hat)

Apparently, Positive Duck had spent the better part of four years grinding through pharmacy school. She was this close to the finish line. Clinical rotations. Patient counseling. Endless SOAP notes. The whole deal.

Then she got assigned to APPE rotations under the infamous **Dr. Leon “Lambchop” Lamberson**.

Dr. Lamberson was the kind of preceptor who made you count every tablet twice, then count the count, then write a reflection paper about how counting made you feel. Students started calling the rotations “Lambchop’s Pasture” because you felt like you were being herded from one tedious task to the next while he calmly asked, “And how does *this* prescription make you feel… about yourself?”

Positive Duck lasted longer than most. She powered through ambulatory care, institutional, and community rotations. She even survived the day Dr. Lamberson made her counsel a stuffed animal about blood pressure medication “for practice.” But one humid afternoon in the middle of a particularly soul crushing medication reconciliation, something inside her snapped.

She looked at her reflection in a stainless steel pill counter, saw the future stretching out in endless beige scrubs and prior authorizations, and whispered the words that changed everything:

“I didn’t come this far just to count sheep for a man named Lamberson”

That night she packed her tiny crocheted bags, put on the cowboy hat she’d bought on a whim after binge watching country line dancing videos, slid on the shades, and walked (waddled) away from pharmacy forever.

She needed a new calling. Something with more soul. Something with more *vibes*.

And somehow, like all the other beautiful weirdos in my life, she found the drive-thru bay at Joe’s Drive Thru Smog Check®.

Life With Janet and the Leafy Legends

Janet Craigson took her in without a single dramatic leaf drop. That’s just how Janet is. Quiet. Steady. Judgmental only when necessary. The two of them have formed the most wholesome buddy cop duo this bay has ever seen.

Janet does the heavy lifting purifying air near the tailpipes, staring down the Murphy’s Law poster like it personally owes her money, keeping the chaos from getting too chaotic. Positive Duck handles the motivational support.

Every time a customer rolls in looking stressed about a check engine light or a possible fail, Positive Duck is right there in Janet’s pot, sign held high, shades reflecting the California sun, quietly broadcasting:

“You’re ducking awesome.

Go do your thing.

I believe in you.”

I’ve watched grown adults in SUVs start laughing mid test. One guy from Studio City actually high fived the air in her direction and said, “Thanks, little dude. I needed that.” Another woman from Burbank got out of her car just to take a picture and whispered, “I’m putting this on my vision board.”

The rest of the plant posse has fully adopted her. Tailpipe Tango Tina keeps trying to teach her the two step. Freddie Figg photobombs every picture. Smog Whacker Wally has appointed himself her unofficial bodyguard. And Ari Palm just sways approvingly like a chill California uncle who approves of her life choices.

The Austin BBQ & Country Line Dancing Connection

Here’s the part that really sealed it for me.

Positive Duck doesn’t just *like* country line dancing. She lives for it. On slow afternoons when the bay is quiet, I’ve caught her doing tiny little boot scootin’ moves in Janet’s pot while humming “Cotton Eyed Joe” under her breath. She also has strong opinions about Austin BBQ. Apparently her dream road trip involves hitting up the classic joints, ordering brisket by the pound, and two stepping until the cowboy hat falls off.

I told her if she keeps the vibes this high, I’ll personally drive her to Texas one of these days. She adjusted her shades and said, “Joe… you’re ducking awesome. But first we clear the air in the Valley. One car at a time.”

That’s my girl.

Why This Matters (Besides Being Completely Ridiculous)

Look, smog checks are rarely anyone’s favorite errand. People roll in tense, worried about failing, worried about the cost, worried about the whole bureaucratic mess. At Joe’s we already do everything we can to make it painless: stay in your car, 10 minute STAR certified test, no appointments, and the one policy I actually trademarked into the stratosphere.

Pass or Don’t Pay®

Didn’t Pass? Don’t Pay!®

You only pay the $60 out the door if the car passes. No games. No upsells. No “you need a new catalytic converter and also my cousin’s blessing.”

But now? Now you’ve also got a tiny crocheted cowboy duck in shades standing next to one of the leafy legends, holding a sign that believes in you more than some of your relatives do.

That’s not just a smog check.

That’s a full emotional support experience.

So if you’re due for a smog check, or you’re just having one of those days where the universe feels a little heavy, come roll through the bay. Stay in the car. Keep the A/C on. Watch Janet do her silent purification magic. And let Positive Duck remind you that even a tiny duck who walked away from pharmacy school to chase better vibes still thinks you’re ducking awesome.